Leading with Love
Could you imagine a world where every action was led with love?
Over the past three months, I have been on a personal development journey in which I’ve had some major revelations about how I was showing up in the world. It was eye opening to examine how I thought I was being with people versus how people perceived me to be. One major thing I learned about myself was that I continuously play a lose/win game in life. I would constantly allow myself to lose in order for those around me to win. I was living everyday being upset and angry about the way things were happening around me and I felt I had no control or choice in what my life looked like.
I have learned that every moment and action is a choice, even when you choose not to choose. Where I felt I had no voice and where I allowed myself to lose, I now choose to show up differently. Things do not have to be an either or, life can be full of win/win situations - I choose to be different.
One relationship that I believe has had major transformation is my relationship with my sister. Our relationship as siblings has never come easy. For as long as I can remember we would fight like grown adults. I’ve felt that I always played the role of “big little sister” and felt like I had to always give advice and help make her life better. Most times, my words were not taken well and we would go periods of time not speaking to each other. I would get so frustrated because I thought I was coming from a place of love and speaking truth and I couldn’t understand why nothing was being received the way I intended. I had a moment of clarity where I realized a large part of our disconnect was because at the root of my words, I was coming from a place of judgement and arrogance and not actually a place of love. I had to really sit with myself and pray about releasing the judgement because how she lives her life is up to her and not me; I can only support her when asked.
This shift in perspective has allowed me to show up differently in our relationship: I now can truly lead with love! Let me tell you, I believe this has RADICALLY changed our interactions and my perspective on our relationship. I had not spoken to my sister in five months and after I truly saw how I had been with her, I decided that I didn’t want dysfunction to be the narrative of our relationship. Since then, we have been able to have honest conversations and connect in a way that we have never been able to before. This isn’t to say that we won’t fight or be hurt by each other again, but I now get to choose the perspective in which I react.
My relationship with my sister is just one example of what choosing love can do. All it takes is one shift in perspective to cause a chain reaction in the interactions of others.
I challenge you to take a moment and really examine how you are showing up in your relationships. As hard as it is to hear, the other person is not always the problem. Relationships are a two-way street; but, if you shift how you show up, that can be a catalyst for the other person to shift as well. If you lead with love in every interaction you have today, what will your day look like?